I Couldn't Hate You
by MonkeyGrapes
Summary: Zero lives in a world where people either have a Mate or they don't. He thought he might be one of the lucky few who didn't, but unfortunately Kaname Kuran has a knack for crushing dreams, even if he isn't aware of it.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: do I look like I own Vampire Knight? If you said yes, thank you. If you said no, then you're absolutely right.

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 **Heads Up!** **This is based on a dream I had!** So that's why it's crappy. I felt like I had to share it though, you're welcome I hope. Don't worry homies I cut out most of the weird parts and I filled in the blanks! This is not omegauniverse or a soulmate au. This idea all came out of my own head when I was asleep so sure ya give credit where it's due please! Thanks!

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Mate Bonds. Scientists have many different theories to explain what they are, and why they exist. And while some believe that Mates are similar to soulmates, someone you where destined to be with. More practical groups lean towards the more logical explanation introduced by Dr. H. Lee in his book; The Mystery Of Mates.

Dr. H. Lee explains that love and lust are both the product of a different chemicals and hormones, and Mates Bonds are not much different. Studies show that when a person finds their Mate they are usually someone that said person has know for at least six months or over, Dr. H. Lee suggests that it is because the human body chooses a compatible Mate and creates a Mate Bond itself.

He proposes that the body takes in and stores all the chemical reactions that are produced when said owner of the body is interacting with the potential Mate. The body does the same with the chemicals and aura that the potential Mate releases, it continues to do this for the required amount time (length of time may differ) and it compares the collected info between itself and the potential Mate.

If the potential Mate and said person are compatible then the process of choosing a Mate is halfway completed. But before the potential Mate is subconsciously chosen as a Mate, the brain must release certain chemicals strong enough to trigger the process.

Once the chemicals are released the potential Mate becomes said person's Mate. In most cases, Mates mutually choose to each other, but a few incidents have been recorded were a person has one sidedly entered a Mate bond. Fortunately, it is possible to find more than one Mate in a lifetime.

One usually discovers their Mate through a bodily process called 'Heat'. When someone enters a Mate bond they subconsciously desire to mate with and enter a relationship, with their Mate. To do this they begin to produce a particular, unique scent that only their Mate with recognize and smell.

The scent with stir up chemicals and hormones that produce lust and affection, in both the Mate in Heat and the Mate that they are trying to attract. it is similar to the estrous cycle (mating season, or animals heat) but shouldn't be confused with it. Unlike the estrous cycle, Heat isn't a cycle at all, Heat rarely happens more than once or twice when a person acquires a Mate.

The strength and length of a Heat can greatly vary as well. Some individuals are unable to go through a Heat strong enough to attract their Mate, thankfully, today there are many manmade pills and tablets (as well as other methods) that people can consume to help their bodies create an adequate Heat.

Pills and tablets are not always used for the purpose of create strong Heats, seeing as Heats are commonly few and rare (especially within recent years), many take them to help them find their Mate faster, or to simply stimulate their bedroom activities.

This is simply Dr. H. Lee's explanation of Mates, many other theories exist and most are also just as plausible. But there are basics that you can can be certain of.

1\. When an individual finds their Mate they are highly likely to stay together for life. 2. Individuals usually discover their Mate through some sort of Heat. 3. Relationships between two individuals that don't have a Mate bond usually fail. 4. Not all individuals have a Mate bond. 5. No one knows for absolute certain how and why Mate bonds exist.

Vampires and other humanoid creatures also can have Mate bonds. Zero Kiryu the level D hunter is well aware of Mate bonds just like the rest of the nation, but what does he think of them? Well, he thinks they fucking suck.

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 **This is only the prologue** Yo what do you think? Be honest brah. I'd love it if you liked this and wanted to read more but I totally understand if you ain't down. I'm not the only one who is kinda uncomfortable right? It's my first fanfic YEAH! Updates will be irregular

Please review! Your opinion matters! I'd love to hear anything you'd like to say, we're all fam here


	2. Zero Learns That Life Hates Him

Disclaimer: why am I writing this? This is is literally a fanfiction site isn't that proof enough that I don't own anything

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 **My writing is crappy but it's my child and I still love it.** Don't hate your writing bros, that's child abuse. Remember, if your writing sucks it's just a child and it's still growing, it's going to get better you just have to be patient and help it. Practice essentially. (Aka my writing is crappy and advice is welcome) ROLL FILM!

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Deep into the night, long past the Night students classes were over. Two Day class girls creeped through the brush as silently as possible towards the Night class dorm, holding a camera.

"Hinata, Shut up!" The girl clutching the camera whispered harshly to short haired girl behind her. "Hinata" pressed both her hands over her mouth to try and stop more giggles from escaping, "I can't help it, Aoi." She wheezed breathlessly back, "This is so exhilarating!".

With a groan, Aoi rubbed her temples and turned to explain for the hundredth time _why_ they were sneaking out past curfew, "Hinata, we are not out here for kicks and giggles. We are on a **mission**. We have to get pictures of the Night class without getting caught!" She hissed.

Looking into her glaring face, for some unknown reason made Hinata want to laugh harder. She pressed her lips together and tried to think of the awful consequences if they were actually caught, but her efforts just made her adrenaline spike. She felt her face turn red and her giggles began to spill out until she was laughing hysterically.

Horrified, Aoi lunges forward and covered her mouth, "Stop it!" She breathed in her ear, "Stop it this instant! We're going to be caught and it's all your fault!" Seeing that her words were having no affect, Aoi smacked her back and Hinata stopped laughing with a pained gasp, "Now stop or we're going back right now."

"You're going back right now either way." Snapped a cool voice. Both girls shrieked and spun around to see Kiryu looming over them with a deep scowl.

"Kiryu! W..we-" Aoi began, "We weren't doing anything wrong!" Hinata wailed. Zero snorted and heaved each of them to their feet by the arm, "Sneaking out of your dorms to take the pictures of people who didn't give you permission to do so, isn't wrong?"

Guiltily looking down, Aoi grumbled "We would have asked them afterwards, tomorrow…" Hinata furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, "We would have?", Zero rolled his eyes and began pulling them in the opposite direction of the Night dorms, "I should give you detention for a month."

With that, Zero marched the girls through the woods back to the Sun dorms. Feeling wronged, naturally they protested against the cold treatment and attempted to appeal to Zero's nonexistent sympathy for a less harsh punishment, only to receive a cold glare and another detention for their efforts.

Finally depositing the two students safely back in their dorm, Zero sighed and returned to his second least favorite prefect duty; patrols. Which recently had become even worse. Ever since Yuki had found her Mate, three weeks ago, every star struck fan girl in the school thought they could get away with sneaking to the Night dorms simply because there was one less prefect on duty.

Of course Yuki still helped with the class changeover (not that she made much of a difference) but since her Mate was in the Night class and she didn't see him during the day, the headmaster Kaien Cross, thought it was only fair to allow her time off during patrols to spend with her new Mate, Hanabusa Aido.

To say Zero was unhappy with this whole development would be an understatement. He intensely disliked vampires, and with good reason too. But that actually wasn't the main reason he was distraught over the situation. Unfortunately it was something more personal. He, himself had feelings for Yuki that one could call love.

No one that was still alive was as close to Zero as Yuki, and he supposed it had been only a matter of time before he fell for her. Yuki was able softly worm her way past his walls and into his heart with her sweet, childish ways. And as much as he teased her, he truly thankful for her, more than she would ever know. If she hadn't been there who knew how he could have turned out.

Of course, he had always been cynical about Mates and hadn't been thrilled by the concept of them, but he had thought that maybe if Yuki was his Mate, then just maybe it ...wouldn't be so bad. Now, however, it appeared that it wasn't meant to be.

So, despite his bitter disappointment, Zero was still her adoptive older brother and he had reluctantly given Yuki and Aido his blessing.

Not that he still didn't have doubts about their relationship of course. Despite being a genius, Aido still had idiotic tendencies, and with both his and Yuki's shared habit of getting into trouble, it could only lead to disastrous situations.

It really shouldn't be surprising Yuki had managed to form a Mate bond with someone as accident prone as her. Sighing, Zero finally reached the usual part of his route around the Moon dorms. At a sudden thought, he smirked wryly through the trees at the large building. Then again, at least she hadn't been Kuran's Mate.

If Zero had thought he might be Yuki's Mate, then he had been sure Kuran would be. He had mulled over it before and it had made sense, Kuran had know Yuki her whole life and she had clearly been infatuated with him, as he had seemed to like her as well, (with as much as he threatened and told Zero to protect her, he must have). If Zero hadn't despised Kuran he might have been willing to even accept that him and Yuki were fated to be Mates.

But Kuran was a self righteous, pureblooded asshole and Zero had refused to give up and accept that he had no chance with Yuki. Now Zero was glad he had been so stubborn, because as it turned out neither of them had gotten her and as much as it hurt, it also gave him a petty sense of satisfaction.

Though Zero definitely disliked that Yuki and Aido were together, it must have irritated the hell out of Kuran. After all, Aido was one of Kuran's underlings right? Imagine the shock of having his fanboy get his girl instead of his "charming" self. Zero couldn't hold back a chuckle.

A few more minutes and he would be done circling the Moon Dorms. As he did he couldn't help but think of how odd it was that just a month ago Aido would have been just another of Kuran's stooges (albeit an annoying one), now Aido was the Mate of his adoptive sister, which made him.. what? Related to him?...His brother in law?

Zero stopped dead in his tracks. _What_?... He didn't really consider Cross his father but he didn't want to give up his last connection to Yuki, so..so that would probably kinda make Aido his brother in law, right? Shock and bafflement (with a side of disgust) spread across his face. This was too surreal.

He mentally shook himself, it wasn't that big of a deal. Yuki and him weren't even blood related and so it was.. different. Zero shuddered and continued walking. This was going to effect him more than he thought. He hoped Yuki didn't expect him to start treating Aido differently.

A feeling of acceptance had slowing been filling Zero throughout the last few weeks though. He was learning to be happy for Yuki and somewhat move on from her, and perhaps from love too. Realistically, statistics showed that with all things considered, if Yuki wasn't his Mate then it was likely that Zero was one of the few that were born incapable of having a Mate bond. At least from what Zero had read and figured that was probably the case.

But surprisingly, he was beginning to be okay with that. It was actually rather relieving to be honest, he didn't have worry about all the confusing Mate bond stuff anymore, and he wouldn't have to abandon anyone when he eventually fell to level E. He smiled dryly, thank goodness for small mercies.

There appeared to be no more Day class students trying to sneak towards the Night dorms and Zero was about ready to leave, but oddly, he noticed a slight change and stopped to sniff the air.

Strange… the night air had taken a more cool, refreshing smell, it might have just been a simple sign that it was going to rain but.. it smelt so oddly temptingly good for air, it felt like something was almost willing him to suck it in. Despite his better judgment, even with his slowly clouding brain, he was unable to resist taking a deep breath of it.

As the oxygen flowed in and filled his lungs he unconsciously relaxed, a pleasant, calming scent curled around him, it was strong but not overpowering, just … reassuring. He sighed and closed his eyes, a small smile tilting his lips.

It was a fragrance he had never smelt before but it was familiar at the same time. He was sure he could never place it as any aroma that he had known before, it was hard to describe. It was strong and deep yet so light. Something almost like a _hint_ of cinnamon was there…

He took in several greedy breaths, _he needed more._ The scent was too faint, the source, he needed the source of it!-

Suddenly Zero's eyes snapped open. He stumbled a few steps back, shaking his head desperately trying to clear it. He grabbed his jacket and covered the bottom half of his face, slowly his head began to clear.

What the _hell_ was that?! He looked wildly about as if something were going to spring out of the brush at him. He quickly recounted what happened, in his mind. He had thought there was something different about the air and he had breathed it in.. and it had smelled so good.. and in fact, from what he could still smell through his blazer, it still smelt wonderful..

Slowly he calmed down but still stood tensely. He had lost himself for a moment there, and it must have had something to do with whatever was in the air. But where did it come from? He grimaced, there was only one way to find out.

Crouching- still covering his mouth, he slowly began to follow the scent. Though with every few steps the smell became more distinct, it still remained irritatingly faint, and Zero fought the urge to uncover his nose so he could smell it better.

As he continued following the fragrance though, he soon realized it was leading him right to the Moon dorms. His eyes narrowed with suspicion, could this be one of Aido's experiments? No, Aido was with Yuki right now, but then who? And why?

After a few hunter charms to conceal himself, Zero leapt into a nearby tree and heaved himself onto one of the ledges of the large building. Creeping along it, he glanced through every window he passed, but the scent still didn't lead him into the dorm.

He had gone around most of the building but not once had the smell grown any stronger, and he was beginning to grow irritable. He had seen a couple vampires during his search but from what he could tell, they didn't seem affected by the scent, or even to smell it.

Finally he came to the room where he knew Kuran resided. He frowned, the charms wouldn't be enough to hide from Kuran, and he was sure he would have questions about why Zero was scaling the Moon dorm at this time of night.

Zero's nose twitched and his eyes glowed. The scent had gotten stronger, and it was even better and more potent than before. He groaned quietly, he could _feel_ it sliding along his skin, beckoning him further. Unprepared for the sudden onslaught of the delicious fragrance, in a flash of madness, Zero made the mistake of uncovering his mouth.

The deep, strong scent was irresistible. Judgement clouded and somewhat high on the fragrance, Zero scrambled onto the terrace of Kuran's bedroom and stared through the glass, desperately ready to finally discover the source of the wonderful scent.

The sight that Zero was met with was probably the only thing that could have shocked him out of his drugged state.

Kaname Kuran sat on his sofa in an almost relaxed pose, though he clearly wasn't. He was tense, faintly flushed and fighting to control his breathing. But what alarmed Zero most was the fact that the intoxicating scent was emitting from _Kuran_.

The gears in Zero's head furiously turned and everything seemed to be clicking into place. His eyes widened and horror flooded his face. It made sense, it made terrible, horrible sense. The reason why none of the vampires were effected or smelt it, and why it was affecting him so strongly.

He wouldn't have realized it had he not been reading up on the subject, but now the signs were all pointing towards the same thing, everything he had heard from Yuki about it, everything he had read, everything he had heard, everything that he had always assumed had nothing to do with him. Now they all showed the only possible explanation.

 _Kaname Kuran was his Mate._

The revelation shook Zero to his core, and suddenly feeling very off balance, he stumbled backwards almost falling off of the terrace. He was still outside of Kuran's room and the scent- Kuran' s _Heat_ \- continued to tug insistently at his senses.

He swallowed thickly. He had to get out of there. He **had** to get away from that _scent_. Panic and fear replaced his shock, and not caring in his haste, whether Kuran heard him or not, Zero threw himself from terrace and landed heavily on the ground.

It wasn't far enough, he wasn't _**nearly**_ far enough _away_! The smell swam all around around him filling his nostrils and lungs, luring him, begging him to turn back and let it over whelm him. Zero covered his mouth, stumbled to his feet, and _fled_.

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 **This chapter was short and the others length will vary.** Yes! First chapter is done! Yo but I'm still not sure if this is going to be au (obviously it's a Mate Au but am i going to include Rido or not is the question. Shizuka and Ichiru and all that jazz still happen tho. Ah whatever I'll figure it out homies!

Thanks everyone who reviewed, followed and favorited!

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I'm missing some people i know, they got lost in the mail, sorry, I'll try and include you next chapter, if you review it'll be easier to find you... *cough cough wink. But I hope y'all enjoyed this regardless and please review! I need feedback homies!


	3. Hedgehogs and Voles

Disclaimer: I don't VK. And I probably don't even need to write that but I'll admit it's kinda growing on me.

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 **Yes. It has been awhile. ...I don't have an excuse prepared.** So homies, hello? What can I say? I have a life too! No that's a lie, I had an existential crisis about my story. Sorry about the wait I hope y'all didn't abandon this but if you did totally understand bro. For those that are here, Bless you and your household.

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In hindsight this all could be blamed on Kuran. In fact everything could. Kuran was probably the cause of all the suffering in the world, and whether or not that was true he was certainly the cause of Zero's suffering right now. With a raging headache from being up all night and stressing out, Zero lazily lifted his head from the impressive pile of books he had buried himself in.

He winced at the sudden onslaught of bright, early morning light that shone through the clear library windows, and reached up to rub his tired eyes. He had been in the school library since… well since he had found out Kuran was his -damn he hated to admit it- Mate. Which was last night. And he still couldn't wrap his head around it.

Having rushed here after failing to convince himself he had been hallucinating, he had begun reading everything he could find on Mates. But much to his disappointment, everything, _everything_ had just confirmed what he had hoped to disprove.

There wasn't much point in denying the truth when it stared you straight in the face but _gods_ did Zero want to.

Sighing, Zero pushed back his chair and slowly stood up, stretching his, sore from hunching over books all night, back. He gave a long yawn before beginning to reluctantly put away the mountain of books he had collected over the previous night. Crap, he really should have gotten some sleep.

He didn't feel as much burning shock and immediate denial over what he had learned yesterday (though the lack of sleep probably had something to do with his current placid state) but instead he felt rather numb to it all. He wasn't quite sure what to do with the knowledge either.

What was he supposed to do? His rival (former rival his mind sweetly corrected) and mortal enemy was his Mate! 'Why' was also a more prominent question on his mind. The books had oh so helpfully told him that a person normally developed a Mate bond with someone suited to them, but in his and Kuran's case that wasn't true at all.

Was it a cruel trick of fate? Was the universe toying with his life for it's own sick pleasure? Was there really any logical explanation for this? Zero groaned and ran his hand down his face tiredly. Frankly all he wanted to do right now was go back to his room, lie down and possibly cry himself to sleep.

For now, he was definitely going to bed. Screw classes, he was going to sleep and when he woke up he was going to pretend none of this ever happened. He had had a whole night to mull over it and in the end it was the only rational thing to do. For his and Kuran's sake.

Because Zero knew, if he hated this then Kuran probably would ten times more. And what was the point in making them both suffer for no reason? To develop a (heaven forbid) _relationship?_ Zero suddenly gave a hysterical burst of laughter. Fuck, this was a train of thought he had never even begun to think he would have.

The world had gone utterly insane and clearly it was having an effect on him. Fuck Kuran, fuck Mates and fuck everything in between. He had finished putting away the books and now all he planned to do was stalk back to his dorm to get some greatly needed rest.

And that is exactly what Zero did. He shut out anymore thoughts of Kaname Kuran or Mate bonds, he readied himself for bed and threw himself into the sea of blankets and pillow. Fully intending to sleep until late afternoon. However, even Zero's stubbornness couldn't keep out all thoughts of Kaname, and in sleep, his subconscious mind slipped in and dreamt of things like Kaname and himself, romping throughout the school as little hedgehogs and voles.

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Having gotten sleep but little to no peace of mind (not to mention dreams too horrifying to think about. He had woken up in a cold sweat for Pete's sake), Zero unwillingly drug himself from his bed (aka the only thing that cared about him) and into the cruel world in which he had reform his usual duties, namely the class escort. Mainly by himself if Yuki was busy making doe eyes at Aido while the blond made an idiot of himself like some kind of vain bird of paradise. Wonderful.

Zero sighed heavily, trudging unhappily towards the place were he would not only have to watch his former crush interact with her Mate, but he would also have to put up with a presence of someone who whether consciously or not, made his life worse than it had to be. And considering recent events, Zero didn't want to even look at Kuran.

Life wasn't fair, Zero knew that, but wasn't this too much? Wasn't this going too far? Was there no limit to the amount of grief life could give you? He didn't want this, he didn't ask for a Mate, and he certainly didn't want or ask for Kuran. Chest heavy with strange tiredness and resent, Zero finally found himself walking through the familiar throng of screaming girls and towards the front of the crowd.

Dully noting that for probably the first time ever he had arrived before Yuki, he turned to the Day class girls and shouted "Quiet down! They're not even here yet!" The noise level dropped only slightly. Zero groaned and rubbed his forehead. Damn it, he must be losing his touch.

This was Kuran's fault, the bastard. If Zero wasn't so- so distracted, he might actually be able to get his emotions and life together. And speaking of life, he already had the life expectancy of a pet goldfish, he could hardly handle this extra stress. Love wasn't something he needed on his mind right now. And goodness knew any potential partner didn't need the stress of having him as a Mate either. Ugh, poor him, and he supposed poor Kuran too.

Yuki finally showed up, flushed and spouting apologies that Zero waved off. It wasn't like he didn't know why she was late, in fact he knew so well it made his heart ache harder with why. "You took your sweet time 'hanging out' with Aido last night." Zero said gruffly, not that he knew this to be fact since he himself had been up all night distracted with a different more embarrassing matter, and had been unable to see how long she stayed out with her Mate.

Which had become a rather sad habit of his, purely to make sure nothing indecent happened of course, or so he told himself. But now he was almost glad he hadn't been remembered to do it yesterday, being too distracted by the Kuran situation. Apparently the whole mess was good for something, if at the very least it helped him forget about Yuki for an hour or two.

Turning redder and only affirming Zero's suspicions, Yuki replied with a rather high voice "W-we-! Time got away from us?" Zero just huffed, shaking his head before ruffling her hair in almost fond way, "I'm happy you found someone else to annoy the hell out of." Suddenly flustered, Zero turned his head so she couldn't see the burning of his cheeks. What the heck was he even talking about?

Highly embarrassed and somewhat confused by his own actions, Zero coughed and speedily made his way to the other side of the crowd of girls, with the pretense of pushing back a rather determined fangirl. A bemused Yuki lightly touched her head before a soft smile spread on her face. She knew what Zero was trying to say.

The pitch of the girls shrieks hit a whole new note when the Night class finally arrived. Zero winced as his ears were assaulted by the unholy noise that somehow emitted from the pipes of schoolgirls. This, this was the worst part of the job. He most certainly had permanent hearing lose, after this abuse day after day, there was no way he didn't.

Aido was of course, at the head and riling up the Day class students with flirty comments and winks. One would think he'd tone it down after finding his Mate, but no, apparently he was brain damaged enough to turn it up a notch with the idea of impressing her. Obviously he had forgotten his Mate was in charge of managing the girls he wound up.

Zero's snarls kept the fans around him at bay but the ones out of range were a different story. It was moments like these that Zero could kill Aido without hesitation whether he was Yuki's Mate or not. Glancing over to check on Yuki, who always struggled even on the best days, he observed she wasn't faring any better than usual.

He grit his teeth and preparing to head over, when movement in the corner of his eye immediately drew his attention to the side. Striding towards Yuki purposefully, clearly about to do what Zero had planned to, was Kaname Kuran.

Zero swore he stopped breathing. His focus zeroed in on Kuran, something akin to apprehension and panic filling his chest and abdomen. The intense urge to run seized his limbs. He wanted to get as far away from Kuran as possible, he wanted to blissful continue behaving as though the events last night didn't affect him at all. But the appearance of Kuran seemed to sadistically replay the scene of terrible truth and realization in his mind over and over.

It had so easy when Kuran was out of sight and therefore out of mind, it had been so easy to deny everything with the guise of effortless acceptance. Childishly he wanted to cover his eyes and ears to block out the pure blood's presence completely.

Frozen and unable to look away from the elder vampire, he stood and watched the scene that was unfolding in front of him. Kuran had without thinking, gone to Yuki's aid as he had done many times before. But just before he reached her, an unexpected party stepped in.

Hanabusa stood beside Yuki like it was the most natural thing in the world, and pleaded with the girls to back up. Yuki welcomed his support with warm, albeit surprised eyes. It shocked both Kaname and Zero. Of course they knew Aido was Yuki's Mate and they no longer had even the slightest hope to have her, but Yuki had always been their sister to care for. Her wellbeing had been their responsibility, and perhaps they hadn't expected that to change.

But the blond noble was her partner, and her needs were his needs. That was something anyone in a stable relationship understood instinctually. Kaname and Zero may still be looking after her, but since the beginning of time, Mates relied on each other. They may have watched over Yuki for years but this was the realization that made it clear, Yuki no longer required the protection and care they offered anymore.

But though the dismay on Kuran's face was as plain as day to Zero, he watched as the pureblood slowly stepped back and let the exchange happen. He had the air of a brother entrusting his sister to her chosen partner, melancholy and maybe afraid, with a little bit of wistfulness, but mostly love. Love for the girl he was letting go. Kuran knew there was no hope in trying to reclaim her heart.

Zero found sad hilarity in the situation, as it was as if Yuki was the baby bird that finally flew the nest. He almost wanted to laugh as his images of this thought floated through his head. But instead a pang of sorrow went through his heart as well, along with a leaden feeling of guilt.

The fear he had felt initially deflated slowly as he uncomfortably tried to look away from the crestfallen expression in Kuran's eyes. At Aido's request the girls giggled and complied, backing off enough for Yuki to find her feet again. They hissed and disliked her for taking away their idol, but they couldn't help but jump at the chance to please him. Even if it benefited Yuki.

A smile plastered itself to Kuran's face as he stepped forward once again, this time only to greet Yuki. She was significantly less flustered than normal, perhaps because Aido was beside her, but she treated Kuran no less sweetly, though maybe a bit more distantly. And watching them, Zero was distinctly aware of the fact that the brunet pureblood walked off much sooner than he would have three weeks ago.

Trying to swallow down the gathering lump in his throat, Zero turned away. This wasn't his fault. He suffering just as much as Kuran if not more. It wasn't like the Mate bond he had with Kuran was why neither of them had any chance with her. Yuki would have ended up with Aido regardless of whether Zero had gotten in the way or not. And he hadn't gotten in the way! This wasn't-! It wasn't… his .. fault.

And if it was, well Kuran was just as much at fault as he was. It wasn't like the Mate band was one sided, though right now Zero would've given the world for it to be. There were no feelings between him and Kuran, and there never would be. Just this terrible, frightening and cruel Bond.

He sympathized with Kuran's hurt, but he refused to feel responsible for it. For now he'd keep this secret to himself and pray that the Mate bond would break over time, after all what could it even do to him? The books hadn't mentioned any side affects of Bonds. As far as he knew, it only located your Mate. The rest was up to the person.

The Night class slowly but surely cleared out, the last lingering student being Aido, who Zero (with rolling eyes) had to practically drag to class. Seriously, the least Yuki and Aido could do was keep their disgusting couple mush to themselves. Nobody needed to see that.

With a sigh, he then proceeded to scold Yuki for keeping the blond, who blushed and babbled sorry and excuses til Zero was forced to drop the subject all together. But one thing to be thankful for he supposed, was, unlike last time he was joined by Yuki in patrols and to his relief, tonight no strange scent filled the air and clogged his senses.

Forcing away all thoughts of that evening and Kuran's heartbroken face, Zero firmly repeated to himself that Kuran's pain was nothing to him and the jerk was just getting a taste of his own medicine. And it certainly wasn't any of his business. He couldn't afford to worry over someone else at a time like this, he was better off looking after himself.

But no matter how he reassured himself the uncertain guilt and pain in his chest didn't budge.

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 **I don't hate this but it feels rushed (probably because it was).** Before you throw your rotton fruit and vegetables at me, let me say one thing. What up! I've missed you fam! I hope you enjoyed the chapter and it didn't bore you! The food throwing may now proceed.

Thank you everyone! For reviews, favorites and follows! I'm going to name everyone new or recent (besides ones I can't find, which makes me feel like crap guys I'm sorry)

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	4. Eating Is Easier Than Talking

Disclaimer: if I owned vampire knight I would have added werewolves and other cringy crap in it and it would have never gotten popular.

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 **Y'all wanted Kaname's POV so here we are.** tbh I actually like writing Kaname's POV more than Zero's. Is it easier? More fun? We may never know, all that matters now is that you bros asked and so you shall receive. Yo! I hope didn't butcher anything and in turn you enjoy it homie!

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Wine red eyes stared blankly at the chess board in front of them. The pieces's carefully planned positions now virtually meaningless. Not completely worthless but their ultimate goal and purpose shattered and flung far from reach. This hadn't been something Kaname calculated, though perhaps something he should have. But there was no sense in dwelling over what he should have done different or what could have been if he did. It was too late, Yuki had a Mate bond with Aido.

Kaname could clearly remember the shock and disbelief he had felt when first being told about it by Takuma, and then later Yuki had come to give him the news herself. He was almost glad he had been informed beforehand, he wasn't sure he could bear seeing Yuki's face if she had seen his initial reaction, most especially the pain and disappointment that had filled it.

Aido had been the most surprising part of this new development. Never before had Kaname suspected that Hanabusa might now or ever have any romantic relationship with Yuki. Perhaps this is what they mean when they say "life doesn't always go as planned". Kaname closed his eyes and let out a long tired sigh, as if hoping the breath leaving his lungs would take the heavy feeling in his chest with it.

When he opened them again they were filled with resignation. He might have been less rational had it been someone else, someone being Kiryu (had it been Kiryu, Kaname would have protested with every fiber of his being), but it was pointless to fight what nature itself had apparently preordained. A Mate bond was something Kaname could not tangle with, even if he wished to. Did he pity himself? Yes, how could he not? It would untrue to say he didn't, and no matter who else he continuously lied to Kaname refused to lie to himself. Though he didn't pity himself in the same sense as some might think he did.

Perhaps Yuki deserved better than him, indeed she did, though Kaname could argue whether Aido was what could be considered better. However the Noble's hands were certainly cleaner than his ever were. At this Kaname chuckled humorlessly though his face darkened. He wouldn't be surprised if this was his karma, a divine punishment for every wrong he committed. Though he could admit that if it was retribution for his many sins, it was more lenient than he deserved.

The heaviness that weighed his limbs down paired with a strange hollowness he felt inward, left him fatigued and listless. He reached for the glass of wine beside his chess board and lifted to his lips for a long, slow sip. What he felt most was tired, not angry. Yes, deeply disappointed and heartbroken but mainly tired. These were the fruits of his labor? His head fell onto his hand as he chuckled. No, but he had certainly reaped what he had sown.

Kaname painstakingly placed the now empty glass onto the table and fell back heavily into his chair. His memories wandered to that earlier afternoon, when Aido had jumped to Yuki's aid in his place. He gave a melancholy smile, Yuki had looked happy. More relaxed than she has ever been around him.

His face fell. A good man would have wished only for her happiness and would have let go with a willing heart. But Kaname was not that man, and he resented himself for bitterly watching Yuki fly farther and farther from where he could still follow. A soft sigh fell from his lips and Kaname clutched his chest. It ached. Selfishly, he wished Yuki were there to lessen the pain. But she was not his and he was not her's, and she would despise him if now he showed her he still wanted to be.

That was something he could not bear, and though he would never have her, Kaname was determined to protect her. In the end he would ensure at least her safety. And then what? That he did not know.

With a grimace and unwanted flashback- set off by that small but weighty question- Kaname recalled the awkward, vulnerable position he had found himself in last night, in the very chair in which he sat now. That… that situation had been unexpected.

Frankly, it had been a long time (centuries actually) since he had experienced a Heat and he had been very unprepared for it. Luckily it had gone relatively unnoticed, despite being a somewhat frustrating thing for him to deal with. It had lasted throughout almost the whole night, and he found himself baffled by what it might intel. Did he have his own Mate as Yuki did? He was uncertain, as he had had a Heat not but a day ago and normally they only occurred when one found their Mate, as the hormones in their body were triggered by them and in turn they triggered pheromones.

But on the other hand, in this academy Kaname doubted he could have formed a Mate bond if it were not with Yuki. After all, it wasn't unheard of for someone to experience a Heat without having a Mate. Rare? Yes, and considered a defect. Almost a myth as well, but far more likely than Kaname finding his Mate in a school where there was not a person besides Yuki who he was remotely compatible with.

He couldn't believe he had let himself even entertain such a ridiculous notion for a moment. Kaname had experienced an incomplete Mate bond before but at the moment he felt nothing similar to what he had felt from a bond then. And really, genuinely, who could possibly be his Mate if they _were_ here? Who, Kiryu? Kaname couldn't stop a chuckle. No, foolish was something he was not and there was no conceivable way he had a Mate.

He had accepted his lonely fate and he would act accordingly. Yuki's happiness was still his priority and he would ensure she was protected until all threats were dealt with. And then, he would let her fly freely without his lingering shadow.

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Surely there was no dinner in the history of dinners that had been as awkward as this one was starting to be. Zero would have asked who's "genius" idea it was to have him, Kuran and Aido, in the same room for over an hour, in first place, but obviously there was no point, as Yuki had unsurprisingly been the one behind it and had also begged Zero to cook for it just to make sure nothing went wrong with the meal part of the dinner.

So perhaps, he was just as guilty for going along with it as she was for planning it. But then maybe a tiny bit of background was needed to paint this picture a little better. Earlier that day Yuki had told Zero she wanted to have something like that of a "family" dinner, with her, Zero, Cross, Aido of course, and for some heaven forsaken reason _Kuran_.

Zero had vehemently opposed it, partly for personal reasons, (cough* Kuran cough*) that he refused to disclose. But after much wearing down from Yuki and as well as many tears on her part, pleading that Cross would ruin the dinner with some experimental dish, finally it was enough to make him relent. Not without a healthy dose of complaining and voiced doubts though. Zero hadn't gone completely soft yet.

Yuki had nevertheless been overjoyed and convinced this was going to make her relationship with Aido more heartily accepted and embraced by the people most important to her. Zero thought she was being a little too optimistic, but he made dinner anyway, with Yuki hovering anxiously over his shoulder the whole time he prepared it.

The meal was taking place at the Headmaster's house so naturally Kaien was the first there. He himself was very supportive albeit surprised by Yuki's Mate bond with Aido, so she wasn't very worried about him.

No, it was Kaname and Zero Yuki was concerned about. They both had said they supported Aido as Yuki's Mate yet she couldn't help but notice the heavy tension that had filled the air in the last few weeks. But she was sure this dinner would to be the first step in new, more peaceful direction. The two would no doubt come around and realize how wonderful Aido really was. Because honestly, Kaname and Zero didn't seem to be particularly impressed by him, and this was the noble's chance to prove himself. At least, that was the conclusion Yuki came too.

The table had been set and "the guest of honor" Hanabusa Aido had arrived. Now it was just Kuran they were waiting on. Aido gave Zero a stiff greeting that he, politely as possible, returned. Apparently the blond had been making an effort to be civil recently, though Zero swore it was impossible to see unless you squinted. Nevertheless, he supposed it was a decent gesture.

Zero slumped down into a chair at the end of the table. He had been preparing himself mentally all afternoon, yet he still felt as though he had a dismal hold on his emotions. He honestly dreaded the whole night ahead of him, he didn't want to spend it playing nice with Aido and he certainly didn't want to spend it playing nice with Kuran. As far as Zero was concerned a respectful coexistence from a distance was all that was required in the type of relationship he had with those two.

He let out a soft sigh, and the situation he had with Kuran was just a mess he didn't want to dive into. Was merciful not a word in Life's dictionary? Must this dinner really take place? He was certain he couldn't endure a whole evening with Kuran and remain sane.

But suddenly, at this, he shifted. Now looking rather thoughtful instead of frustrated. 'Or could this confrontation actually be good for him?' It was true he needed to get a hold of himself if he wanted to successfully ignore the Mate bond… and this dinner could possibly be the start to that.

The sound of a door opening interrupted his thoughts and Yuki cheerfully welcoming Kuran could be clearly heard all the way into the dining room. Zero's gaze snapped back up and unwittingly he straightened. Nervously he licked his lips, but with conviction thought 'It will be fine. I can act like a normal Mateless being for a few damn hours.'

Everyone except Yuki and Kuran were already seated but as the missing two entered the room, Yuki made a straight beeline for the chair next to Aido. Kuran, still standing and left to find his own seat, unknowingly fulfilled Zero's worst fear by taking the chair directly across from him. Zero was barely able to hold back a groan.

Bitterly he picked at his food. Ignoring the conversation beside him (that was hardly important anyway if the cheerful chatter from Cross and reluctant answers from Aido were anything to go by) and even more so the pureblood in front of him. Of course Kuran would sit there. Why wouldn't he? Why did Zero even expect things to not immediately go wrong? He'd have to be delusional to anticipate anything but suffering at this point.

Biting back another sigh, discreetly he glanced at Kuran who was eating like he hadn't a care in the world. Well, Zero knew better. He looked down the table towards Yuki as she beamed happily though somewhat apologetically towards Aido, as if expressing her embarrassment at her adoptive father's chattering. Aido was putting up with Cross's invasive and embarrassing questions but clearly only for Yuki's sake. As it was her he was giving hesitant but obviously loving glances to.

It made Zero wish he hadn't looked, the scene in front of him now feeling too warm for someone as coldly bitter as he was to even look at. He wanted Yuki's happiness and he would give up his own for it, but must he be forced to watch what he would never even experience? Feeling the beginnings of wistfulness rising up in him, Zero quickly turned his head and found his gaze on Kuran once more, except this time Kuran was looking directly at him as well.

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The dinner had been something Kaname was reluctantly attending only for Yuki's sake. If she wanted him he would come and though it was the last place he wanted to be, the smile when he accepted her invitation told him it would be worth it. So he had shown up and let Yuki brightly welcome him into the headmaster's small house. From the moment he laid his gaze on her, the heaviness in his chest lifted slightly as if the light in Yuki's eyes were chasing it away. And he wondered fondly that just her presence could cause such relief.

The aroma of food floated through the air and telling him everyone else had arrived already, Yuki led him into the room from which the smell drifted. As she said, Kiryu, Cross and Aido -someone Kaname would rather have not seen at the moment- were already seated and waiting. Disappointment rose in Kaname as Yuki left his side to join her Mate.

It was not surprising, however it did harshly remind him of how things were now, and how they would never return to the way they once had been. He reprimanded himself for forgetting so quickly and easily, he should not have let himself be so taken in at just her presence alone. But he would not let the same happen again, he couldn't afford to. Kaname took a chair opposite of the side of the table Yuki sat, and found himself facing Kiryu.

The hunter seemed disgruntled and rather unhappy by the other's presence but Kaname was not about to stand and switch seats for his convenience alone. So he busied himself with eating as a distraction from the unpleasant situation he found himself in, simultaneous trying to block out the conversation about the newly Mated individuals beside him and their relationship, and finish the meal as soon as possible so he could leave.

Once again he felt Kiryu's eyes on him but he did not acknowledge them, after all, what would be the point of meeting a glare? But they soon left and Kaname paid them no mind. After a moment Kaname however did look up and inevitably he saw Kiryu's gaze fixated on something or someone further down the table, made rather curious by the flickering emotions in his eyes Kaname glanced down as well and suddenly understood.

He was looking at Yuki, or more specifically Yuki and her Mate. It was an undeniably happy picture, full of Yuki's joy and Aido's (poorly concealed) affection for her. It was something Kaname had no place in nor had ever in anything of the like. He felt his expression and heart tightening so instead he looked back to Kiryu, and he saw, with a sudden realization, that Kiryu's face mirrored his own internal reaction. And he felt that in fact, Kiryu most likely was thinking something quite similar to what he had.

It somehow put a sense of comfort in Kaname and perhaps pity. For when Kiryu turned away from the cheerful scene and found himself looking at the other as well, Kaname, without thinking, offered him a look of understanding and almost sympathy before going back to his dinner. Just missing the look of confusion and horror that flashed over Zero's face in response.

All in all, Kaname did not regret the joining the dinner. And later he had even joined in the conversation between the other attendees, somehow having drawn the nerve from that moment of comradeship he felt. He still felt the old tiredness and regret but it had settled over him in a way like bearing an old burden. He could keep going. He always did.

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 **Guess who's the poor fool that deleted the first draft of this on accident.** Yep you right, it was me. I wanted to punch myself but I directed my energy towards rewriting stuff instead. Luckily it was just the first draft and easy to redo.

Thank you so much to those who reviewed!

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I appreciate reviews and the time you take to write them so thank you very much homies! Remember, reviews make the writing world go round. Thanks for reading and I hope you liked it! Criticism is okay in my book as well


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